Friday, October 31, 2008


It's been my theory for a long time that teams that have fun together, win together. I've always loved hearing about the MLB Pranks and in college I wrote this feature on the USC O-Line, but no one knows more about having fun than players coach and notorious prankster Pete Carroll.

Pete Carroll with pal Will Ferrell at a charity swim-a-thon last year.

The USC head coach teamed up with his longtime pal Will Ferrell this year to prank the football team just before Saturday's game against Washington and just in time for Halloween. Oh, how I love my school!

From USC
By: Dan Woike

As the door flew open on a camera tower high above the ground just outside Howard Jones Field, all eyes turned to a man inside screaming and waving his arms.

As he hurled to the ground, players winced in horror. Fullback Stanley Havili ran toward the door, but before he could get there, he received good news.

"He caught him," a woman yelled.

With the man cradled in his arms, a masked superhero strolled into Howard Jones Field. Sure enough, "Captain Compete" turned out to be comedian Will Ferrell.

After speaking to the team for a couple of minutes, Captain Compete got another chance to save a life, when a man engulfed in flames emerged from behind the goalposts.

After the man was extinguished, Ferrell tried to help, launching a Gatorade cooler at the man - not on the man.

"What a sense of timing that guy has," USC coach Pete Carroll said.

The Halloween gag had most of the Trojans fooled.

"It felt awful," Havili said. "My stomach just dropped."

Freshman defensive tackle Armond Armstead saw the man fall and thought tragedy struck.

"Seriously," he said, "I thought we just watched a dude die."

The prank lightened the mood after the team finalized its week of practice

"It was just a little something in the Halloween spirits," Carroll said. "I just thought we'd have a little fun."


Last night I was at the Spike Lee “I AM C.H.A.N.G.E!" Get Out The Vote Party in NYC. CoCo and her hubby Ice-T showed up, Rockets’ Dikembe Mutombo, Bow Wow, Tyson Beckford, Lil' Kim, Russell Simmons, LL Cool J and others were at the party but I really only cared about seeing Spike Lee. I interviewed him last year before a Lakers game when he was filming the day in the life of documentary on Kobe Bryant.

I never understood why Spike Lee would show up at Lakers games wearing a N.Y. cap. But none of the L.A. players seemed to be bothered by this. What I also didn’t understand was why Spike liked the Knicks in the first place. But since I am an official New Yorker now (I even registered to vote here!) and plan on going to many Knicks games and seeing my pal Spike, I figured I would get to the bottom of his Knicks passion.

So I bought his memoir. He wrote it back in 1997 and although it is a bit outdated, I figured it would be a good historical read if anything. It’s actually fantastic and incredibly insightful. He starts the book by describing a very candid car ride convo with Michael Jordan where he dissects the entire league. The most interesting part is where Mike talks about Shaq and the Lakers “eighteen-year-old rookie" Kobe Bryant.

“The young kid, Kobe. Don’t sleep on him, either. He’s got some skills. It’ll be a couple of years, but he’s got some skills. He’s got a lot to learn though.”

Basically every prediction and analysis Mike told Spike in that car ride in 1996 has come true. I’ve also learned (via the well-informed IMDB) that Spike is planning to do a documentary on Jordan coming up. It’s currently an “Untitled Michael Jordan Documentary” in pre-production.

Spike Lee skipped the red carpet at his party last night and if the music wasn’t blaring so loud in the club, I would have asked him about the documentary. However, it was hard to get any full sentences across, let alone attempt to scream in Spike Lee’s ear and ask him about his new Jordan project.

Not that he probably remembered me and not that he’ll probably remember me when I see him at a Knicks game this year, but I was able to have a short chat with Spike and tell him I was reading his memoir, to which he replied “cool.” To which I replied (or yelled), “Okay, well nice seeing you again.” Just another normal night.


I couldn’t have re-written this any better so via Dead Spin

Despite sporting the best gay porn 'stache in the majors today, Jeff Kent on Thursday girded his loins took a stand against gay marriage; scribbling a check for $15,000 to the Yes on Proposition 8 people. The California proposition would ban same-sex marriage by imposing a California constitutional amendment that would define marriage as being between a man and a woman. Kent's official residence is in Austin, Texas, and thus he can't vote on the matter (someone tell me if this is wrong), but he knows there are married gay couples in the stands at Dodger Stadium. He can feel their eyes on him, looking him up and down, undressing him, seeing into his very soul ...

"Ahh!" (Kent wakes up, sweating, clutching framed photo of Clay Aiken). Here in California, we have many strange, exotic items on our ballot for Tuesday. Prop 8 is one of the more confusing ones ... just remember if you live here and are voting on this, yes means no and no means yes on this one. Latest polling seems to have the no's ahead, 49 percent to 44 percent, which means Kent had better get out there and start knocking on doors if he doesn't want that 15 grand to go to waste.

But we have other hard-hitting issues as well. Prop 2 is the chicken initiative, in which a yes vote means that farm animals cannot be jammed together into small pens (that's leading by a wide margin). Also I believe they must have TVs.

Anyway, as our governor would say, "Don't fahget to vote, Cal-ee-fohnians."

Thursday, October 30, 2008


So apparently I'm a lot more gullible than I realized. Last night I went to a concert for a band called White Tie Affair. They are this pop rock group of five cute guys. You may remember them from an episode on The Hills that was centered around Audrina Patridge going to their concert.

Well before the concert, I hung out with the guys at the W Hotel for a meet and greet, and a pre-concert chat. It was then that I got officially punk'd by the lead singer and guitarist who told me a rather convincing story about Audrina that I then pitched to my editors the next day at work, only to find out that it was complete crap once I called her rep. They were messing with me, I bought it and I'm an idiot. I still have no hard feelings for the guys. But seriously, this is war. I will get my revenge on them ...

Convo went as follows:

CHRIS WALLACE (LEAD SINGER): “There’s actually something interesting about Audrina. She’s like really intelligent. More than you can even believe.”

SEAN P (GUITARIST): “She’s like Rain Man. This is really weird. We were doing the shoot and I just kept seeing her when there’s nothing going on writing on paper. And she’s got this ridiculous math equation worked out on a piece paper. I’m like, what are you doing? And she’s like ‘trigonometry.’”

ME: “What? I don’t believe you.”

S.P.: “And she was like. ‘Just some trig.’ And I go, ‘Why are you doing that?’ and she’s like, ‘I don’t know, I just like to do it. It’s a hobby.’ It’s totally some Rain Man shit. And the weird thing is we were messing with her and giving her all these weird math problems and it was like nothing. She was like bam! So then she was giving us equations on gas mileage, just the weirdest stuff broke down like you’ve never heard it. Like you’ve never seen this. I couldn’t believe it.”

ME: “Well then why has no one ever heard about this before? Why would she not want to do something with the math?”

C.W.: “I guess that’s not the public persona she wants to show, and I can respect that.”

S.P.: “I asked around and her friends say that’s just something that she does for no reason. She’ll just do math. She’ll do these ridiculous problems, like a whole page worth of math.”

ME: “Wow, that’s crazy!”

C.W.: “When you ask her about it, she’s so casual about it. She’s just like, oh I just like to do math. Dude, she’s like some weird trigobot.”

At that point some friends from another band arrived and the convo was cut short. The next day I emailed Audrina’s publicist who responded: “Audrina is laughing about this one.” Ha, I don’t blame her. Perhaps Audrina can team up with me to conspire a way to prank get these guys back.


I am glad I am not alone in resenting the choice to dress as Sarah Palin for Halloween. Unfortunately, someone else came up with this genius party rule poster. I can not take credit but what I can do is show you its awesomeness and ask you to print it out and hang it at whatever Halloween party you are going to. People are very funny.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008


This is just ridiculous.

There are a lot of distinguishing factors that make this historic election unique from past Presidential elections - youth registration is up in staggering numbers, the impact of SNL and pop culture, the fascination with candidates lives like never before, the breakdown of stereotypes ... and then there are things like this:

A dude on the street in Time Square selling Barack Obama and John McCain condoms.

Obama's reads: "Use with good judgment" and McCain's reads "Old but not expired."

While I was tempted to buy some, I figured that probably wouldn't be the smartest idea, so I settled on some pictures instead for documentation purposes. Years from now when my kids ask me about this historical election I'll be able to say, "Yup, they were selling condoms with the candidate's picture on them back in my day."

Pretty sure I don't remember seeing these for sale four years ago. Hilarious.


Yes! Another excuse for some more Cole Hamels pics.

The 24 year old won the World Series MVP in the Philadelphia Phillies 4-3 win over the Rays in Game 5. It sucks to be the MLB. First they were hoping for a Dodgers-Red Sox matchup. That didn't happen. Then they were hoping the series went seven games. And that didn't happen. Instead, they had to settle on what could be considered faux six games, thanks to the weatherman. Congrats Phillies on your World Series victory!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008


All I have to say is that thank god I didn't buy tickets to Game 5 of the World Series. Imagine if you lived in another state, flew out, stayed in a hotel only to sit in the rain, watch your team run around in slush and then have the game canceled in the 6th.

There are many things that went wrong this year.

First of all, it's never good for MLB when people need to be convinced why they should care about the World Series. No one can pretend that a Dodgers-Red Sox series wouldn't have been sweet. You can't write a Hollywood script that sugary sweet - a team paying another team to play them, Manny Ramirez stirring trouble in the locker room, walking to bases and then moving to L.A., hitting balls out of the park and running faster than Speedy Gonzalez. I was in the Red Sox locker room when they had Manny and I was in the Dodgers locker room two weeks later when they had Manny. I know.

Second of all, the whole mix up with the rule change is ridiculous. Imagine if the Phillies had been up in the 6th and started celebrating when the game was stopped because they thought they won the World Series. Um, that would have been embarrassing.

Third, Bud Selig joking that “We’ll stay here if we have to celebrate Thanksgiving here" instead of finishing the game in Tampa, is not funny. And if they did stay in Philly until Thanksgiving, I guarantee you'd see a lot more teams announce they're building new stadiums - stadiums with roofs. And considering the economy and the little controversy the Yankees are dealing with right now over financing for their new stadium, that would probably be a very bad idea.

Those are really my only complaints but if I have to come up with two more it'd be:

Fourth, what stupid hotel were the Rays staying at that wouldn't let them back in after they had checked out on Monday and needed to stay another night? Kick out the other people if you have to! These guys are playing in the World Series! Make them drive to Delaware? What is up with that? Not cool.

Fifth, we didn't get to see enough of Cole Hamels. End of story.


I remember reading an article like a year ago about how a leading phone company was going to stop locking phones so you can use them with any carrier. I predicted that if and when they started doing this, other phone services would soon follow. I was wrong.

It's crap that you can't use a Sidekick with Sprint or an I-Phone with T-Mobile unless you get some shady tech dude to unlock it or you buy it on E-Bay. It should be illegal that phone services purposefully lock phones in the first place. A Blackberry is a Blackberry and I should be able to use it with whatever carrier I chose.

I'm going on this rant because today I went to the launch party in NYC for the new Blackberry Bold 9000. And I got a free Blackberry. Sweet, right? Well yes, except for the fact that I can't use it because I don't have AT&T! This happened a year ago in LA at the launch party for the pink Blackberry Pearl and that time I gave my phone to my best friend. This time, however, I am pissed because my current Blackberry is seriously from 2001 and I desperately need a new one.

There are much larger problems to have in life but this is not just about having a cool phone. It's about companies taking advantage of the people! It's about monopolies! It's about corporate America! It's about the right to choose! It's about the economic crisis!

Okay, I'm probably overreacting a bit ...

The party was fun though. Great pear martinis, kobe beef and cute boys in suits. A girl also fell down the staircase. It wouldn't have been so bad had she not screamed bloody murder as she fell. Everyone in the room just turned and looked at her but at least no one laughed. Everyone secretly knew that could have been them - rain and steep staircases don't mix well.

Blair Waldorf (Leighton Meester) and the real socialite Olivia Palermo.

Also at the soiree was the beautiful Maggie Gyllenhaal, intriguing Olivia Palermo (side note: Blair Waldorf from Gossip Girls is rumored to be based off of her. Olivia told me she's met Leighton Meester but she's never seen the show!), the super cute Robert Buckley (who told me I looked familiar. I said yes, I've interviewed you before. And then I sighed), Rafi Gavron (from Nick and Nora's Infinite Play List. Rafi makes me wish I was 18 years-old again. He's gonna be a huge star. I promise. I met him at the Toronto Film Festival a month ago and he told me he was going to shoot Michael Cera with a water gun at their premiere. We hugged, caught up and he confessed he never went through with the water gun stunt. He was in town shooting a campaign for Barney's).

Everyone there got free Crackberries too ... and I guarantee they don't all have AT&T.

New up and comer youngster Rafi Gavron.


This afternoon I went to Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen's book signing in New York for their new book, Influence. Yes, the Olsens have written a book ... and from what I've read so far, it's not that bad.

PETA, who has dubbed the twins the "Trollsens" because according to them, wearing fur is "ugly," was outside protesting, decked out in Trollsen masks. Oh yeah. I said Trollsen masks. And if you were hoping to snag one for Halloween, think again. They're sold out on their website because according to Ashley Byrne, a campaign coordinator for PETA, the masks are a total hit.

"I have to say these Halloween masks that we have been giving away have been in such demand," she told me today. "We were giving them away online and actually we’ve been cleaned out. People can go online to print their own but the ones we were sending out, I mean there was such a demand for these, that they’re gone."

I of course, was able to snag two of these super exclusive masks. Sweet!

The Olsen camp had this book signing organized like a factory production line. You pay, get a wristband, stand in line, take off your coat (to prove you aren't some crazy stalker?), walk by the table, Mary-Kate signs the book, Ashley signs the book, you step down, and wrist band is cut off. It's a fine operation they've got running.

Yes, I said hi to them, they smiled and yes, they are gorgeous. Unfortunately for the fashionistas, they've been targeted by the animal-loving-fur-hating-celebrity-targetting-group. Sucks to be gorgeous, rich and famous. There's just some things you put up with. Good thing I didn't bring my new mink coat to the book signing ... Seriously. Yesterday, I was just given my grandma's vintage mink coat. And call me heartless, but I love it. It is meaningful and gorgeous. And I love animals. Does that make me a hypocrite? A flip-flopper? I saved seven kittens in the basement of a frat house sophomore year of college. I should get rollerover points for that.

For more info on the book signing and PETA's stance on it all, check out the OK! Mag exclusive!

Monday, October 27, 2008


(Editors note: The dogs have nothing much to do with my story. But they are funny.)

Halloween is only four days away and I can't decide what to dress as. A costume can be something people either remember you by or it can be something you forever regret. I've had all year to think about it and I am still costumeless.

The best line from Mean Girls is when Cady says, "Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it."

Perhaps that used to be true but slutty is not cute. Plus, you can't stand out when you're just one of 100 other scandalously dressed females. I'm taking a stand and declaring that creativity is the new slutty.

But with thousands of decorated and detailed costumes online, it's almost impossible to come up with something that hasn't been thought of before. I refuse to be a nurse, a policewoman, a firefighter, a devil or an angel. No cliche costume will ever be considered creative.

For anyone who though that being the Joker from Dark Knight or Sarah Palin was a genius idea, think again. You're one of at least a dozen people I know who also think they came up with the unique costume idea as well.

For dress up Friday at work I am going to be Louis Lane and my co-worker Oli will be Clark Kent ... I know, I know, It's almost like if Britney Spears wanted to dress as a pop singer. It isn't much of a stretch considering we are both reporters (not to mention that my name is Laura Lane) but at least we won't feel like idiots on the subway.

In the past I've been a fairy, Lady Lucky, a pirate, a hippie, a devil, a nurse and various other cliches.

I'm not proud of my choices. They aren't creative except for Lady Luck. I'm a writer - so I should be flowing with ingenious creativity, but my friends are stumping me with their fantastic ideas.

One friend just texted me to say she stayed up all last night making her costume - a rotten tooth fairy. Another friend told me she is going to be a circus ringmaster and is dressing her dog up as a lion. I love it! It's fabulous. It's unique. And I should have though of it first.

In case you were wondering what your favorite athletes are doing for Halloween, I just got word that Chris Paul and LeBron James are throwing a huge bash in New Orleans and inviting all their Cleveland Cavalier and Hornet teammates. The party is also for a good cause - they're selling tix for $250 and using the money to benefit the children of New Orleans and Paul’s CP3 Foundation and help restore playgrounds on the Lower Ninth Ward.

LeBron is known for taking his costume very, very serious. Last year he got the help of a film studio to re-create his authentic Batman costume. Hmmm, not a bad idea ...

Sunday, October 26, 2008


Today I went to my first NFL Game (not as a fan, that is) - New York Jets vs. Kansas City Chiefs.

Lets get a couple things out of the way before I attempt at any sort of analysis-

First of all, how come New Jersey hasn't sued the Jets - or Giants for that matter - for not changing their name to "The New Jersey Jets" or "The New York Jets of New Jersey"? I, of course, am not serious, but bring this up in reference to the millions of dollars Anaheim spent fighting to keep their city's name associated with the Angels, which ended in the team being named the tongue twisting and lengthy "Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim." I mean, I do feel bad for Anaheim. The Angels are in Anaheim after all, not Los Angeles. And as I discovered today, the Jets play in New Jersey, not New York.

Now on to the game -
The Jets win over the Chiefs should have been a blowout. New York barely escaped a loss in Sunday’s 28-24 mistake-ridden game at the Meadowlands.

There’s no doubt that last week’s controversy over whether Brett Favre gave the Lions information about the Packers (he flatly denies this, in case you've been in another country) was still a distraction for the vet. Favre threw three interceptions and two touchdowns in the game and continued to play despite being shaken up by a late first quarter hit. He has now thrown seven interceptions in his last three games.

It wasn’t that the Chiefs were spectacular. In fact, they were mediocre at best. The Jets however, made mistake after mistake and were unable to execute against a middling Kansas City team. Jay Feely missed a 36-yard field goal in the first quarter, which would have brought the score to 10-0 and set the pace for the game, but instead Kansas City answered with a touchdown, tying the game 7-7. The Jets Leon Washington scored on a sweet 60-yard run, which the Chiefs answered with a touchdown pass to Mark Bradley with just four seconds left, bringing the score to 14-14 at the half.

Favre reemerged in the second half calmer and more efficient, but was still nearly out played by the Chiefs’ QB Tyler Thigpen. Tyler who? Exactly...

For all the hype about Jets fans being crazy, the stadium seemed lifeless, even with the Jets down only 17-14 in the third after a KC field goal. After some back and forth action and a close call at the end when the Jets ball was intercepted for the third time and the Chiefs scored on a 91-yard run, bringing the score to 24-21 with just a few minutes left, what was left of the crowd looked doubtful. (1/4 of the crowd disappeared from their seats by the 4th quarter- the team was only down three points- have they no faith?)

At times, it appeared both teams were playing Red Rover out there instead of systematic series of plays (like my analysis?). With just a minute left and down three points, the Jets came through with a last second touchdown, finishing the game 28-24 as the clich├ęd We Will Rock You sounded in the dome (can Giants Stadium be considered a dome? It is dome-shaped ... hmm).

Overall the Jets were inconsistent, mixing penalties and interceptions with the occasional Sports Center-worthy play. Favre left the locker room after the game with a slight limp, his head down and his sweatshirt thrown over his shoulder, not looking like a QB coming off a win. If the Jets would have lost the game to the Chiefs, there is no doubt that any hope for the season would have been deflated. And while it's not the win that they wanted - there was certainly not much celebrating in the locker room after the game - it's still a "W" and there is hope to rebound. However, the Jets are 1 for 3 on the road and will have to step things up next week when they head to Buffalo to take on the Bills.

Other notes: Joe Namath was wandering around the press box before the game. He was here with former teammates to bask in the glory and celebrate the 40th anniversary of the 1968 Jets team for a special halftime celebration. Whoo hoo. That's all I have for you.

Saturday, October 25, 2008


"And up to bat, here comes Evan 'Don't call me Eva' Longoria."
-Baseball Announcer, Game 3 Tampa Bay v Philly


Of course. Game 3 of the World Series just has to start at the same time at the USC v Arizona game. Damn you rain delays! Now I have to chose which channel to watch more- my beloved Trojans or the World Series. I'll have to be constantly hitting the "Last" button on my remote, but what if I miss an awesome play? So lame. I guess I could TiVo both games just in case, but do I really need to do that?

I'm should just be thankful the USC game is on TV in the East Coast. There's been a few games that haven't played on TV unless I paid for them. That is ridiculous. It should be a rule that every top 15 team in the BCS has to be shown nationwide. I shouldn't have to resort to refreshing or listening to the game on my computer. I'm not talking about Fresno State here. This is USC! A power house!

Oh, and P.S., how amazing is Cole Hamels? He has a sick change up. He's obviously not pitching tonight, but I'll use any excuse to post a picture of him.

In case you are wondering, I'm rooting for the Phillies, only for the sake of the Dodgers so they won't feel as bad for losing the NLCS. It's hard to root for Tampa Bay and their bandwagon fans. I mean, I lived in Los Angeles, some of the biggest bandwagon fans of them all. They love you when you're hot and ditch you when you're not. It's not a bad thing neccesarily. People should be rewarded for winning. But Tampa Bay makes Los Angeles look like Red Sox fans. It's sad.

And lastly, go Trojans! Slowly moving up the rankings one week at a time even though they continue to play unranked teams ... and for people to say history and name recognition doesn't matter- ha! It's like a frat. There's just certain privileges you get for being around for a few years longer than the pledges. You can't just decide to be good one year and think you deserve top ranking! Show some consistency over a few years and then the voters will consider you. Deal with it.


Well hello, New York. I'm back.

I've probably lost all my readers at this point and frankly, I don't blame them. I moved to New York, didn't have internet for two weeks and gave up writing my beloved blog while I adjusted to the Big Apple, started a new job and went on more dates in three months than I've been on in three years (no joke).

I got emails from readers, including one from a girl in Australia and my most dedicated fan, the talented Lakers insider Beto Duran, wondering why I stopped writing and wondering when I would start it up again.

There were many moments I wanted so badly to write something - hilarious conversations overheard on the subway, watching the Dodgers playoffs and wanting oh so badly to be in L.A., interviewing the Williams sisters at the US Open, watching my first USC game in a NYC bar, watching the Presidential debates on my living room rug, having my mom call me every time she is in a grocery store and sees an OK! Magazine with my picture in it, Tina Fey as Sarah Palin, my first paparazzi chase, going to Yankee Stadium for the first time to watch the Red Sox v Yankees game, going on Entertainment Tonight and Extra (sweet!), kicking butt at poker at an Atlantic City casino, running into three Celtics players walking the streets in the East Village and embarrassing myself when USC alum Gabe Pruitt didn't remember me (I'm blaming it on my brown hair), playing at open mic night, and going on dates with various NYC men I've nicknamed so my roommate can keep them all straight:

1. Harvard
2. Art Boy
3. Toronto
4. The Swimmer
5. Hot Paparazzi
6. Chemist
7. Doctor
8. The Jew
9. Political Guy
10. Agent
11. Non-Exec Exec
12. Movie Dude
13. Sexy Nerd

Needless to say, it's been interesting.

In the last week there have been various occurrences I've wanted to write about -

The new Rolling Stone!!! They've changes the mag from an ESPNish look (which rocks my world) - bigger pages, larger pictures and an authentic feel; to the smaller size of every other shelf mag - glossy and run-of-the-mill. Sell outs.


Ok, ok, so it's just a few inches, but Rolling Stone is iconic. However, if they were going to chose someone to put on their new cover, Barack Obama was the perfect choice for the CHANGE. Get it? However, this is Barack's third RS cover, so um, yeah. We get it, you endorse him.

Anyways, what really made me finally give in and decide to start my blog back up was watching this AMAZING new Guitar Hero commercial with Kobe Bryant, Michael Phelps, A-Rod and Tony Hawk.

I've watched it now at least 15 times. This is even better than Joe Torre's commercial, which made its way all the way to the East Coast during the playoffs!

So yeah, I'm back. I'm sorry. And one day, I hope to regain the trust of my readers.

Write on, and rock on.