Monday, July 7, 2008


Run-ins with the ex, whom you haven't seen in a year since he broke your heart can be a particularly awkward experience. This happened to me this weekend at a concert for a friend's band in L.A. Since it was a band I would regularly see with the ex, I had avoided any performances for the past year. But after the drummer had sent me four text messages begging me to come to the record release, I gave in.

I had cut off all contact with the struggling writer - turned major motion picture director (this transformation happened over the course of our dating. I can proudly say I fell for him during the 'struggling writer' faze. I've never been one to go for the successful Hollywood-types. They can be quite the stuck-up spotlight stealers).

I have to say I was impressed with the way things went and can now successfully leave L.A. knowing I have absolutely no feelings for any past romantic relationships. No fizzling feelings were brought back to life after the run-in. Uhg. None. At. All.

However, from the experience I have come up with five rules to follow when situations such as these arise:

1. When he smiles and waves, say hi, chat but be sure to be the first one to leave the conversation (this is important for all those times he said he had to get off the phone first).

2. Ignore his psycho ex-girlfriend-turned-best-friend whom always hated you when you were together. She'll come over and say hi but you both know she hates you. When she stands in front of you at the concert trying to dance super sexy, get up and leave. She'll casually turn around to see if you're looking at her, but by then you're already at the bar.

3. Don't go out of your way to say hi to any of his old friends whom also happen to be there. "Great," you think to yourself. Don't be alarmed. Smile, and say hi when they come over. And yes, they all come over. Oddly enough, they're curiously happy to see you. Remember, you look better than ever and you're moving soon for a hot new job, so you're the whole package this time around. Not him.

4. Don't say good-bye. In your old days, you would make any excuse to say good-bye, convincing yourself it was "rude" not too. You came to see the band. It's not rude. And you forgot he was even there.

5. Don't think too much into the whole night. No need to over-analyze anything. Okay, so you're single. But remember, so is he. Ha.